Stupid Things Technology Made Me Do

Of course there’s the notorious autocorrect fail.

I’m spectacularly gifted in that department, though I think anyone who owns a smartphone probably is as well.  My personal best happens to be texting “HAHAHAHA!” and instead sending “GANGSTERS!”  I can’t find the screenshot, but it happened. Promise.

And sometimes, text messages which are from separate occasions, but when read together, make for a fee-fi-fo-fum of a tale.  Here’s my burrito order to Craig from last night:

Burrito order, Property of Carolyn Svellinger

 

Now with the fairly new iOS 8,  there’s opportunity for some super dumb mistakes, and I’ve caught it a healthy handful of times.
Except for one.

Backstory!  I have my screen’s autolock set at 5 minutes because I use it to refer to for recipes and I’m sure there’s a solid 1/4 centimeter of flour built up underneath my circle-y Home button.  So I try to touch my phone as little as possible while I’m cooking, and instead of having to unlock my phone every 30 seconds, I stick with 5 minutes.

Oh, the dumb things to come.

Which usually works out fine, until I’m not cooking, but trying to send a quick text right before dinner, and then I think I’m done but that quick text turns into a quick voice text of me plopping myself down at the boy’s kiddie table and letting out an exhausted “AHHHHHH YEAH!”  Because I am mom, and I usually stand when we eat dinner (especially if Craig’s on his long night), but this time I actually sat down, and boy, that felt nice.

The voice message text function only picked up those two exclamations from me and nothing else.
No chatter from the boys who never stop with their shrill chirpings.
A moment of silence, followed by a THUNK and then an obnoxious exclamation from me.
And it’s sent it to my mom.
And she listens to it while in a meeting at our Parish.

Property of Carolyn Svellinger

All before I could catch it.
( re: “purging/packing”, we’re moving, remember?)

Also, I still have a habit of laying in bed –waiting out a little insomnia or waiting out a squirming non-sleeper– of browsing through Pinterest on my phone.

Which again, harmless.

Except when you fall asleep with your finger hovering over your screen, and your eyes close, and your finger just happens to rest on a picture of Marilyn Monroe laying in bed which just happens to be on your feed, and Pinterest takes the hint that your finger wants to pin that image, and somehow you end up pinning Marilyn Monroe, laying in bed, in her silky pajamas, to your Pinterest board titled “Mother of All Boys”.

Lets take it a step further.

Your finger somehow slides around and you sleep-pin and send that pin to a big famous blogging mom.  Who now probably never wants to talk to you again, pervert.

property of Carolyn Svellinger
and yes, many times I’m asleep by 8pm. old lady.

I discovered all of this days and days later.  Mortifying.  *This happened months and months ago and I think I blogged it before, but I only had like 2 readers then. Spread the luv.

I’ve sleep-sent pins to a handful of people, I’ve recently noticed.

You’d think I’d learn to abstain from Pinterest at night, but I’m an idiot.  Therefore, if you’ve ever received a random pin from me that has nothing to do with anything, I’m probably sleep-pinning and have no idea what’s going on.

There is also the time when I let Lexington play with Siri and Siri interpreted his slur of excited syllables into “Find Village Idiot”

And that Siri, she found it:

property of Carolyn Svellinger
I’m surprised Siri didn’t say, “Village Idiot is sitting next to you” aka MOM.

 

Welp, those are pretty much the tiptop dumb things my technology has MADE me do, except for the amazing amount of accidental foot/floor/selfie shots I’ve got on my camera roll.  It’s no secret I like to take take photos, but I guess I need to learn to use the lock screen button.  My latest I was coerced I tell you! to post on Instagram because of a game errbody be playing called Post The Last Photo In Your Camera Roll.  Here are some betters:

property of Carolyn Svellinger
One of these is while standing in line for Confession. I’ll let you decide which.

Lastly, and I can’t really blame this on technology, but I want to:

When I wrote last week about Olivia hosting the 10 Virtues of Mary blog hop, I have no idea why my internal calendar was telling me it was still the first week of October.

Guys, we missed Molly’s post about about Lively Faith.  Then again, maybe it’s just me who missed it.  Do go catch up, because Kendra posts tomorrow about Blind Obedience :)

I can blame pregnant brain. Yes, that’s it. What is today, even?

What stupid things has your technology made you do?

What’s going on with the Svells right meow.

I’m one of those people who become enraged when someone “forgets to eat”.  How do you FORGET TO EAT?

Craig is one of those.  I’ll be talking to him on the phone in the afternoon and he’ll suddenly inform me of his hunger and that he forgot to eat lunch. I have no sympathy.  Did you also forget to use the toilet today? Do you need clean pants? TOO BAD.

One might think my rage would place me in a category of people who like to eat.  And one would be correct.  The thing is when I’m not pregnant, I eat when I’m hungry, and no more.  I choose what I eat marginally wisely, with a side of home made cookie.

But when I’m pregnant?  Let us ponder the moment when Craig comes home and has not brought in the food I requested he pick up.   This being my fourth pregnancy, he’s learned that if baby wants a bag of mini Twix bars, baby gets them or else there might be tears and there will be gnashing of teeth.  I dream of galaxies filled with doughnut holes, and fruit snacks suddenly become something I will make a special trip to the grocery store to buy.

With Emmett, in the last few weeks of his pregnancy, every evening, I drank a glass filled half with milk, half with vanilla creamer, over ice, topped with whipped cream.  And I crunched every last ice cube.

GAG ME WITH A SPORK to all of those items, says the un-pregnant Carolyn. Every day.

I know, I know.  All of those Mr. Hyde-like cravings mean I’m lacking in some nutrient or mineral.  I’m taking my vitamins, and whether pregnant or not, peanut butter makes me think less of the world, but I still try to choke it down in lieu of the delicious partially hydrogenated Caramel dipping sauce with a delicious Honeycrisp.

…All that to say that we just got finished making and eating a few handfuls of make-at-home-box of Auntie Anne’s soft pretzels for dinner.  It’s Craig’s late night.

So that’s what just went on.

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Unrelated but of more important note:

Olivia of the beautiful To The Heights blog invited me to participate in a 12 week blog series contemplating the 10 Virtues of Mary, hosted by To The Heights.

Honored, and happy to be given a prompt about something other than diapers and pregnancy cravings, I am so excited to talk a little about the Blessed Mother and how she always points us to Jesus with her virtues.

Here’s a little blurb from Olivia’s Intro post from yesterday (Yay! You haven’t missed anything, it’s just starting!):

So what’s the deal with this series?

Each Tuesday from now until mid-December, one blogger will host the series at her place and focus on one particular virtue. She will share the definitions of both the virtue and its modifying adjective and why that matters, she’ll reflect on how Mary lived it in her own life, she will offer insight into how we can live that virtue as women, and she’ll divulge how that virtue kicks us in the butt.

I’m so looking forward to reading each reflection because all of these women have amazing hearts and varied personalities, and I’m confident that we will all grow from their particular viewpoints.

At the end of series, we will be celebrating with a big Marian-themed giveaway back here at the Heights! We would love for you to join us every Tuesday to learn about Mary and how we can imitate her goodness simply each day, in every situation, and in the tiniest, most mundane moments.

Check out the schedule below to see who’s covering what :) can’t wait to see you there!

This post is part of a series on the Ten Virtues of Mary, hosted by To the Heights and running every Tuesday until the middle of December. So if you need some help in the virtue department, here’s a great place to start ;)

October 7 – An Introduction to the Ten Virtues of Mary – Olivia of To the Heights

October 14 – Lively FaithMolly of Molly Makes Do

October 21 – Blind ObedienceKendra of Catholic All Year

October 28 – Constant Mental PrayerJenna of Call Her Happy

November 4 – Heroic PatienceKelly of This Ain’t the Lyceum

November 11 – Profound HumilityCarolyn of Svellerella

November 18 – Angelic SweetnessRegina of Good One God

November 25 - Divine WisdomBritt of The Fisk Files

December 2 – Universal MortificationAbbey of Surviving Our Blessings

December 9 – Divine PurityGina of Someday Saints

December 16 – Ardent CharityChristy of Fountains of Home

December 17 – Massive GIVEAWAY at To the Heights – Just in time for Christmas

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So I’ll be doing PROFOUND HUMILITY right around my birthday.  How’d I get that one? As soon as I saw the words I laughed and knew I’d be needing to write on it.

Because Carolyn, you sit yourself next to the Blessed Mother and would she have gotten rage over St. Joseph forgetting to eat his lunch? No, thy name ain’t profound humility. So stay tuned for that.

Until and after then, I’ll drop a reminder each Tuesday where you can read up on the other 9 virtues.  These ladies are at the top of my favorites, and I’m humbled to see my picture next to theirs.  It’s going to be a great way to reflect inward on how we live our life as we near the celebration of Christ’s birth.

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Next:

Craig and I are in the throws of finding somewhere to rent, and then moving there in the next few weeks.  We could use your prayers.  I have a hard time dealing with change and my whole person tends to go into shut-down mode where I get sickly and need to sleep a lot.  You’d think the amount of moving we’ve done would render me less sensitive to it all, but no.

I just want to cram my people into a tiny rustic cottage with AC, away from people, but close to a Starbucks, and be done with it. You know?

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Also:  

If you’re getting all your Catholic information about the Bishops chitchatting on the Synod on the Family from the NYT, and you’re believing it… how does that song go?  Don’t know much about history, don’t know much Synod-ogy… yeah.

NYT don’t know what they’re talking about and they don’t know much about Catholicism, but they do know what kind of headlines will get people running around like chickens with their heads cut off so if you wanna chicken off your head, please garner all of your Catholic info from there.

Otherwise, try here.  Basically look at the Synod as a gathering of the Ents from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy.  It’s a long long long long long discussion which is going to take lots of time, and still might amount to no change at all, but rather a clarification of what the Church has always taught on love, sexuality, and human dignity.

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Finally:

I’m considering lipstick.  I only ever use a lip balm, if even a lip gloss.  But anything with color and I feel like the most awkward 13 year old trying to look 30 –even though I almost am– who just ends up with it smudged onto her front teeth and down her chin.

Also, I kiss my babies a lot and I hate getting makeup on their pure little faces.

AND! The kicker, I try to avoid cancer-giving ingredients like talc, petrolatum, sodium laurel/laureth sulfates, anything ending in “paraben”, the mysterious “parfum” or “fragrance”, and any toxic metals.  This cuts out most drugstore and name brand lipsticks.  So I’m just like okay then, I’ll have another mini Twix bar.

Nude’s in, right?

Yet I persist. Who’s got a healthy happy recommendation (if it exists)?

Freebie Friday (On a Saturday!) at the Svellerella

m4s0n501

Hi there.

–1–

This is like so short I feel like a cheater 7QT-ing it, but Jen’s slacking off too, so Imma do it anyway.

–2–

In case you missed the fun, Bonnie hosted a fun blog hop this week and was sweet enough to include me in a group of ladies who all shared how we welcome Autumn into our homes.    My post is here, and if you scroll to the bottom, you’ll find the links to all the ladies who participated.  I’ll just tell you right now, if you start at my post, they only get better from there.

–3–

For as little as I decorate, I’m still feeling spry and fallish– but as noted in my previous post, for me that means baking and sketching.  Which is good for two groups of people.  When I bake, visitors to our home usually reap the pastry benefits.  I baked a little this week for Craig’s birthday, and there’s more celebrating to be had this weekend, especially as he worked a long day and we were all fast asleep by the time he got home.

–4–

When I sketch, I have decided YOU shall to reap the benefits of the scribbz, if you’d like. If you want.  On special occasion.  Aka, when I feel like it. Aka, today’s the day because the boys gave me a few minutes to scribble out some left over fallspiration. Then they helped themselves to my markers, and covered their hands in purple and red which appear shocking and gory to the flitting eyeball.

–5–

I’m slowly delving into selling my graphic design slash illustration work.  A small example may be found here.  More examples of my artistic styles are laced into Instagram. BUT I figured, if I don’t also share here, how on earth am I going to get the word out?  So, I’ll be doing this more frequently, God willing.  And yes, it’s an act of God, because see #4.

–6–

So as a token of my love for you as readers and likers of my blog, below is a free, printable PDF to hang, or not to hang in your house, to matte and send to a friend, to just keep on your phone to take up space, to print out and let your child chew on it so you can start dinner. or whatever.
I didn’t think people actually printed out printables, but I think I’m wrong.

–7–

Here you go!  Happy weekend, happy fall, much love to yas all.

Autumn leaves heart CAS-1

>>>>Click here to download your free, C. Svell illustration. hootie hoo.

bye.