Of course there’s the notorious autocorrect fail.
I’m spectacularly gifted in that department, though I think anyone who owns a smartphone probably is as well. My personal best happens to be texting “HAHAHAHA!” and instead sending “GANGSTERS!” I can’t find the screenshot, but it happened. Promise.
And sometimes, text messages which are from separate occasions, but when read together, make for a fee-fi-fo-fum of a tale. Here’s my burrito order to Craig from last night:
Now with the fairly new iOS 8, there’s opportunity for some super dumb mistakes, and I’ve caught it a healthy handful of times.
Except for one.
Backstory! I have my screen’s autolock set at 5 minutes because I use it to refer to for recipes and I’m sure there’s a solid 1/4 centimeter of flour built up underneath my circle-y Home button. So I try to touch my phone as little as possible while I’m cooking, and instead of having to unlock my phone every 30 seconds, I stick with 5 minutes.
Oh, the dumb things to come.
Which usually works out fine, until I’m not cooking, but trying to send a quick text right before dinner, and then I think I’m done but that quick text turns into a quick voice text of me plopping myself down at the boy’s kiddie table and letting out an exhausted “AHHHHHH YEAH!” Because I am mom, and I usually stand when we eat dinner (especially if Craig’s on his long night), but this time I actually sat down, and boy, that felt nice.
The voice message text function only picked up those two exclamations from me and nothing else.
No chatter from the boys who never stop with their shrill chirpings.
A moment of silence, followed by a THUNK and then an obnoxious exclamation from me.
And it’s sent it to my mom.
And she listens to it while in a meeting at our Parish.
All before I could catch it.
( re: “purging/packing”, we’re moving, remember?)
Also, I still have a habit of laying in bed –waiting out a little insomnia or waiting out a squirming non-sleeper– of browsing through Pinterest on my phone.
Which again, harmless.
Except when you fall asleep with your finger hovering over your screen, and your eyes close, and your finger just happens to rest on a picture of Marilyn Monroe laying in bed which just happens to be on your feed, and Pinterest takes the hint that your finger wants to pin that image, and somehow you end up pinning Marilyn Monroe, laying in bed, in her silky pajamas, to your Pinterest board titled “Mother of All Boys”.
Lets take it a step further.
Your finger somehow slides around and you sleep-pin and send that pin to a big famous blogging mom. Who now probably never wants to talk to you again, pervert.
I discovered all of this days and days later. Mortifying. *This happened months and months ago and I think I blogged it before, but I only had like 2 readers then. Spread the luv.
I’ve sleep-sent pins to a handful of people, I’ve recently noticed.
You’d think I’d learn to abstain from Pinterest at night, but I’m an idiot. Therefore, if you’ve ever received a random pin from me that has nothing to do with anything, I’m probably sleep-pinning and have no idea what’s going on.
There is also the time when I let Lexington play with Siri and Siri interpreted his slur of excited syllables into “Find Village Idiot”
And that Siri, she found it:
Welp, those are pretty much the tiptop dumb things my technology has MADE me do, except for the amazing amount of accidental foot/floor/selfie shots I’ve got on my camera roll. It’s no secret I like to take take photos, but I guess I need to learn to use the lock screen button. My latest I was coerced I tell you! to post on Instagram because of a game errbody be playing called Post The Last Photo In Your Camera Roll. Here are some betters:
Lastly, and I can’t really blame this on technology, but I want to:
When I wrote last week about Olivia hosting the 10 Virtues of Mary blog hop, I have no idea why my internal calendar was telling me it was still the first week of October.
I can blame pregnant brain. Yes, that’s it. What is today, even?