3 years ago

Some Svell Convos Heading Your Way.

No, not smell convos. Svell.

But if you told me 5 years ago that I’d have to man-handle someone else’s solid turd, sans protective gear, while taking a shower, and also read a book on business law, all in one week, I would have laughed and asked just who do you think I am?   But I am.  Cukoo-ca-choo.  (just FYI, my life was just changed this very instant as I learned that the cukoo-ca-choo in “I am the Walrus” is actually “goo-goo-g’joob.”  My whole life is upside down. I can’t believe it. Who am I? What is life?)

Business jargon and business buzz words make my skin crawl.  I think mostly because that kind of language is normally so sugar-coated and bushes and bushes beaten away from plain-speak that as soon as salesmanz shine their sparkly teeth my way, I cringe, recoil, and have an urge to summon a Thor-ish hammer.

My husband is in sales. Figure that one out.

Anyway, every now and again we get into little tiffs over certain business verbiage.  Lately, Craig asked me what I felt when I heard the word “processes” pronounced “process-eez.” He likes to get me going with a good nail scratching down the chalkboard in the realms of grammar and pronunciation.

process-eez, property of C. Svellinger…to satisfy your intense curiosity about if one can actually pronounce processes with an “eez” ending, the actual answer is …maybe.  If you want to sound like an item hanging off a carpenter’s belt.  Answers.com appeased me with it’s reflection, and note that I added emphasis by bolding some words with great delight:

“In recent years there has been a tendency to pronounce the plural ending -es of processes as (-ēz), perhaps by analogy with words of Greek origin such as analysis and neurosis. But process is not of Greek origin, and there is no etymological justification for this pronunciation of its plural. However, because this pronunciation is not uncommon even in educated speech, it is generally considered an acceptable variant, although it still strikes some listeners as a bungled affectation. In a recent survey 79 percent of the Usage Panel preferred the standard pronunciation (-ĭz) for the plural ending -es and 15 percent preferred the pronunciation (-ēz). • Although the pronunciation for process with a long (o), (prōsĕs’), is more usual in British English, it is an acceptable variant in American English.

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/process#ixzz2xgzB8RUc

Ah, new favorite set of words.  Bungled affectation.  I can’t wait to use that!
…says the blogger who most likely wins the blue ribbon for bungled affectations…

bungled afectation, property of C. Svellinger
my sunnier reaction to “process-eez”

Next time you hear someone say “process-eez”, ask if any local business-eez in the area are contributing to charities dedicated to fighting terminal illness-eez.  And smile. ding!

That doesn’t mean I’m smart or anything. I was recently asking Craig a business-y question to which he replied:

“You’re the Smee.”
Carolyn: …    …        …aaaaand… so… who’s the Captain Hook?
Craig: S.M.E.: Subject. Matter. Expert.

I’ve never been good with acronyms.  Don’t even ask me what ROTFL means.  It’s dumb.  Acronym speak is dumb.  Business jargon is dumb.
I protest both. ELL. OH. ELL. IDEC. IDK. C’est si pas branchouille, c’est chébran. <You wanna blow someone’s brains out, try French slang.  I can’t even.

 

Well I dragged that on for way too long.  To the cuter stuff, then:

property of C. Svellinger

Carolyn: Lexington, how on earth are you still hungry?
Lexington: I’m hungry every time I wanna be hungry.
Carolyn (to the sky): When will it ever stop!?
Lexington: When I’m full.

Collin running to me with a figurine in hand: JESUS!!!
Carolyn: This is actually Joseph.
Collin: …Wah-kee.

Lexington: Can I come out of the corner?
Carolyn: You need to stand there and think about how you can be more careful when playing.
Lexington: Okay, I will. *salutes*

property of C. Svellinger

March 28 marks the first time Emmett has spontaneously offered a reaction to how something tastes:
“Lllllllishious!”

Emmett making eye contact with Craig: Wha-wre-yewd- OOING, Daddy!!?

Lexington: What does U.S.D.A spell?
Carolyn: That’s kind of like a code for a longer word.  It means United States Department of Agriculture.
Lexington: …But what does it spell?
Carolyn: I just told you.
Lexington: Mom. You’re speaking Spanish.

__________________________________
I am planning a post on Confession …dare I try before Easter?  I hope. But you don’t hope because IRL I FACK that I’m a slacker, FWIW. YMMV.

Decoder:

IRL = In Real Life.
FACK = Fully Acknowledge.
FWIW = For What It’s Worth.
YMMV= Your Milage May Vary.

 

Just dumb. IMHO. no.

7 comments

  1. […] Hi there. I’m kind of on the verge of an anxiety attack and my neck is cramping up most excellently, and I haven’t had a single chance to get anything written down, even in Evernote, until last night.  I’ve got a lot of mental unpacking to do but instead of unloading it all here in a big vat of unintelligibility, I’ll hit the high points with a short list.  That way, we’ll all be happy with the brevity of the process. …eez. […]

    Reply
  2. Och Aye. When you graduate as an English Major, people come to you as a doctor for the verbal afflictions.
    Trust me, I sympathize. Especially since almost every word people think is incorrect is only kinda sorta incorrect and you spend twenty minutes discussing etymology and potential derivatives before you see their eyes glaze over and you say, “you know what, just look it up in the OED.”

    I’m thinking about starting an Académie française except, you know, for english.

    Also, here is this amazingly written article I thought you’d like if you hadn’t seen it already. http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/4/1/contraception-birthcontrolfertilitypill.html

    Reply
    1. I love it. That’s why I love language so much! The ability to be always kinda right or kinda wrong is seriously a thrill. A nerdy thrill, I guess. And I’m not even that great at it! After you shared that article, I’ve seen it cropping up all over. I haven’t gotten a chance to read yet, but I’m waiting for nap time to do so. Thank you :)

      Reply
  3. yay! phonology and etymology! Since my new job offers free education I’m looking into getting my MA in Linguistics and phonology is what I want to specialize in. this post made me very :D plus the lady drawing with the smirk, ha! loves it.

    Reply
    1. Betsy! Free? DO EET! That’s how Craig is able to finish his degree (his company pays tuition based on grades). I am fascinated by that subject! …except I don’t think I’d ever heard the word phonology until your comment. But it sounds wondrous!

      Reply

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