5 years ago

So we didn’t have electricity for 24 hours due to windstorms that swept through our area this weekend. It brought back flashes of the power outage my city (and many surrounding) experienced about 4 years ago. That summer, we went almost a week without power. I think? It was definitely a few days.

It was tough then but I must say that this 24 hours has been worse by far with it being in the upper 90’s as well as having two toddlers and a 7 month pregnant belly.

The heat makes me completely lethargic and useless. Useless to my own children, even! My mind gets foggy and I just can’t even think. I made it through the morning and brought Emmett to nap early. Thank God it’s the weekend- my husband took our oldest boy out to do some yard work. But truthfully, I know it was so that I could just lay on top of our bed, uninterrupted and be miserable. I was roused when I heard them sneak into our bathroom an hour or so later for a cool shower. I was staring at the ceiling trying to convince myself to get up and make the best out of the situation when suddenly, the ceiling fan started whirling around and I heard the AC kick on.

After the power was miraculously restored -miraculous, it seemed indeed!- I jumped up, quickly showered, after the boys, and blow-dried my hair believing that there might be a chance of another outage.

As the house started to cool down, I regained my energy and liveliness. I made my hair look nice, dressed in something other than a Tee and sweats, put on some make-up, and I began cleaning. And I kept scrubbing and tidying…

How unlike me! …granted, the house is still far from being spic and span, but I cleaned a few spaces that I never touch. That’s a pretty big deal for this momma.

I’ve been reading- on the side, as kind of a leisure read- this beautifully motivational and fairly “new” writer (she just published her first book). Her name is Sarah Mae. (http://sarahmae.com/)

I like her because she’s umm…like me :) And by “like me” I mean she isn’t this crazy-motivated-driven woman who seems like she “does it all”.

She’s got kids and she doesn’t like to clean. She didn’t like to get dressed for the day especially if she wasn’t leaving the house.

Me! Bingo!
But she writes about how she SHOULD clean, how she should get dressed, even if she knows she’s not stepping foot out of her front door. She delves into the “why”. Her thoughts aren’t prophetically original, but they are real, they are wise and they are humbly human.

So I’ve been taking a few minutes each week to read a few of her entries here and there, not totally devoted, but enough to get the gist and be mildly inspired to step up my cleaning game.

Today, as I was scrubbing a dingy bathroom sink, a click happened.

“If I have the privilege of being able to clean; of having the cleaning instruments, my hands my energy, my health, and the AC, nothing in my house should ever get THIS messy. Not everyone is blessed with all of these things.”

I thought this with shame at my laziness. Then I was more humbled to shamefully think that it shouldn’t have had to take losing power for 24 hours to make me have such an idiotic epiphany.

But it did.
I’m just a baby.

As it is, I know I’m going to continue to slide toward laziness. But I’m glad I had my shoulders shaken today as a reminder to fight off personal convenience and comfort for the love and betterment of my family and myself.

If I had it my way, I’d read all day. Books, articles, blogs, essays, news. My head can’t get organized enough with information. I always have questions that need answered and researched and backed up. But my counter tops? It’s an “organized mess”. Ugh. I’m one of THOSE types. Yes I am, yes I am.

When I DO clean, I can’t just “get it done”. I have to look at every little thing amongst the clutter, consider its potential for future use, or “oh! I’ve been wanting to read this, let’s check it out real quick…” or, just like Sarah Mae says she does herself, I remember suddenly that I wanted to do this or that or look something up, so I procrastinate with the excuse of something much more important demanding my time. And thus, the job gets only half-done most of the time.

Sarah Mae writes that one might be more motivated to keep a tidier home if she can look at her daily work as a type of worship to the Lord and as a way of loving my husband, my children and myself. I think that’s a great thing to do. “I offer this for you, Lord!”

So I am trying to live likewise. Offering my waking sacrifices to the Lord for myself and for others. Living a constant prayer. Every action an action of worship and praise to my Creator.

It’s not easy to do, nor is it comfortable. But that’s not why I am placed here on earth, is it? To be cozy and apathetic? Boooorrrringgggg.

I know me. I know ima gona fail and find myself one week with yet another 5 laundry baskets of clean, unfolded clothes stacked up on various tables throughout the house. But maybe not. Maybe just two baskets! And that’s better than 5!

I’m glad for any improvement in myself.

I write this entry, kind of to make myself more accountable for having my “epiphany” (even though it’s not even worthy of the word) so that I don’t sweep it out of my mind on Monday when letting that dirty dish sink pile up a few more at a time than should be, as I continue to sip my coffee and read about something much more important. “Bookmark that sucker and get the dishes done!” …even though I should have done them the night before…

I’ll be a big girl some day.

PS: the book I’m reading in the pic is The Birth Book, by Drs. Martha and Bill Sears. I read it before my last labor and delivery and I swear it saved me and gave me knowledge when my epidural failed. The great satisfaction I experienced from feeling the last half of my labor and delivery has got me enamored with wanting to try this birth in as natural a manner as possible. Trying to brush-up!

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