What I write about are things that I think about all day, every day, all night- sleeping and waking.
I’m not joking, I’m not exaggerating.
Aside from taking care of our children, feeding everyone and minimally maintaining our house (I’m pathetic at it), this is my passion and these issues are where my mind turns to in each and every idol moment I have. And that may explain my pathetic household tendencies: I should be doing laundry right now.
I read. And read and read and READ.
Articles, news stories, essays, blogs and books. When I’m not reading about these things, I’m thinking about them.
And when I have the moment I’m having right now, I write.
I do not have many close to me who are constantly wanting to talk about these issues as I do. In fact, most, if not all of my extended family do not agree with me and wont even breech the subject period! And some who do share similar beliefs easily tire of the subject. I do have a handful of close loved ones who openly discuss with me- and often! But I yearn to hear from more! So here is where I go to talk and share.
Today, however, I am tired! Weary even, I suppose… Just tired that I CAN’T even NOT think about these things.
I go to sleep, with the last thing I’ve read or written in my head, I sleep lightly, conscious that I’m still thinking about the issue, and wake up searching for the next resources to draw upon to help form deeper thoughts.
This morning, I woke up, checked FB cause don’t most of us? I get a lot of my news from the companies and organizations I enjoy by being a “fan” of them, thus inserting their news onto my feed.
But I also enjoy reading about what my real friends are doing.
This morning I was kind of disgusted.
My newsfeed was filled with literally 10 stories of :
“So-and-so read an article: SNOOKI LOST WEIGHT, BUT HAS SHE GONE TOO FAR?”
And “TV STAR GOES TO PRISON”
And “TV STAR’S RACY NEW PHOTOS”
I wonder to myself, why is this junk seemingly (according to how FB documents our actions that we share) more important to people than what is happening to our society, to what is going on in our nation? I know that FB only shares a fraction of the reality of our life and what we do or care about. But I guess, today I am pouncing on the apparent evidence.
Why is it I CANNOT turn my brain off- irritatingly and exhaustingly so- and others don’t seem to even think of it, or of anything else worldly? We say we believe this or that, but have we really learned it? And why would we leave questions unanswered? Especially the important ones!?
Today I literally have a headache from the ideas and words and stories tumbling over and over inside my head, like a cascading mountain of heavy books!
I am no great writer by any means, but to anyone who writes… how can I shut my brain down? Just for a day… for an hour?
I dunno. But today I’m tired so I’ll just share the readings for Holy Wednesday.
The first reading resounded with me very well and made my heart lighter.
Here is part of it:
The Lord GOD is my help,
therefore I am not disgraced;
I have set my face like flint,
knowing that I shall not be put to shame.
He is near who upholds my right;
if anyone wishes to oppose me,
let us appear together.
Who disputes my right?
Let him confront me.
See, the Lord GOD is my help;
who will prove me wrong?